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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sanctified Voyeurism

Dear Annie:

My eldest son, "Ben," is 44 years old and still a huge concern for my husband and me. Ben recently broke up with his fourth wife after only one year of marriage. His relationship with his three former wives lasted about the same duration.

The truth is my son has deep-rooted problems stemming from early childhood. These include exhibitionism, sexual sadism and voyeurism. My husband and I took him to a psychoanalyst when he was only 11 years old in an effort to unravel the causes of his behavior.

After two years of intensive therapy, Ben refused to attend any more sessions.

My son comes from a very loving and secure home. He has never wanted for anything in his life. His other siblings show no signs of any unnatural behavior whatsoever. His last wife confided in me that she was sick and tired of his bizarre proclivities. I don't think I can tolerate any more. Please help. - Sad Mother

Dear Sad:

Ben needs professional help, but unless he is willing to admit it, there is nothing you can do for him. If four marriages in as many years hasn't convinced him something is wrong, we doubt he will listn to anyone's advice, but it certainly can't hurt for you to suggest he would be more capable of finding a lasting relationship if he worked on it with the help of a good therapist. You, however, need to separate yourself from Ben's problems. We know how hard this will be, but he is a grown man and responsible for his own messes.

Worrying will only make you miserable and stressed, and accomplish nothing. You can not fix this. Disengage.

Dear Annie:
You may as well tell all the mama boys and male punks to go live in Kini's backyard because law enforcement has a history of allowing santified voyeurism at her residence no matter where she goes. She is not entitled to privacy because it has been prohibited by us.

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