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Land o' the Nephilim

Prison Prep 101

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

My Therapeutic, Service And Companion Chihuahua

I took my Chihuahua, Bing-Bing, into Wal-Mart and the greeter stopped me to find out whether my animal was a "service dog" for which I replied he was. "If I'm not being too inquisitive, may I ask what sort of service the dog does?" The greeter smiled and I gladly chirped, "Well...he cleans out my belly-button." The greeter, obviously embarrassed, quipped, "Oh! No! That doesn't count!" "Well...I continued, he cleans out my ears! You want me to hear when a sale is announced on one of your aisles, don't you?"

"It's true! He goes with me to night clubs and he cleans out my ears so I can hear 'Last call for alcohol!' Besides that, in the winter, he warms my nose so my nose doesn't turn red.

That way, I don't look like an alcoholic."

The greeter now becoming annoyed exclaimed, "Those services are not recognized as assisting a medical condition!" "Okay," I confessed, "I'm at that age where I'm having circulation problems, I get cold easily. In addition, I have back problems from the L3 and when stress travels up my spine to my neck, my C2 stiffens so I wrap my Chihuahua around my neck like a heater pad. It helps soothes the pain. Further, when I place him at the L3, it's as soothing as well."


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